Love: one word many meanings

Fourth Sunday in Ordinary Time, Cycle B

Deut 18:15-20; 1 Cor 7:32-35; Mk 1:21-28

Stress and anxiety seems not to be only a recent phenomenon. In fact, in our second reading today, St Paul gives us enough evidence to believe that the people of Corinth to whom he was addressing his letter were an anxious people. Expectations of society on us, our own concern about what others expect of us, including those closest to us and perhaps our own fear of the future, the fear of the unknown trigger can trigger in us a lot of anxiety.

But Paul says, "Brothers and sisters, I should want you to be free of anxieties" (1 Cor 7:31). What he is inviting us to do is to shift our focus from things that are definitely important and that matter in our daily life to things that are even more important, or rather essential. In fact the sentence preceding this verse and which we have missed in today's reading concerns eternal life. When we look at things in the perspective of eternal life, then things start taking on a different hue. We start to realise that whatever we do here, whatever we pass through in this world is relative to - and secondary to -everlasting life.

Just take a moment and think how time flies how so many things you were anxious about a few years ago have changed and that you had no control on them. How many things we were anxious about but when we look back, we realise that they have passed, we have grown and changed, and perhaps even strengthened thanks to these situations. It reminds me of that beautiful poem called Footprints in the Sand which I am sure you are familiar with, where this person has a dream and sees all the things he has passed through. He realises that when life was fine there were two pairs of footprints in the sand and when things were going tough, there was only one pair of footprints. So he complains with God, "Why did you leave me alone during those moments when I needed you most?" And God replies, "You know that I will never leave you! Those difficult moments in your life when you saw just one pair of footprints was when I was carrying you through on my shoulders!"

The advice that Paul continues to give on family life must be seen in the same context. Paul does not want to put any extra burdens on us rather, he wants us to "be anxious about the things of the Lord," as he himself puts it, because only that can really put things in order. It is interesting to note here that whatever Paul says for men he repeats exactly the same thing for women, quite a rare case for Paul!

Paul is here saying something very important about love, which is applicable to everyone - obviously me included! He is saying that whatever we do, even if it is the noblest form of voluntary work, or whoever we love, whether in marriage or in a celibate lifestyle, the love of God must be the ultimate goal.

Pope Benedict once said that the word "love" has become one of the most frequently used and misused words to which we attach many different meanings. There is a story about two men who were involved in a discussion at table. One of them says, "Why are you eating that fish?" The other one says, "Oh, I love fish!" The first one says, "I can see that you love the fish, and you love it so much that you took it out of the water, killed it, boiled it and not you are eating it. It is not that you like the fish but that the fish tastes good to you and therefore it is yourself you are loving and not the fish!"

I think that this is what Paul means when he says, a married man must please his wife and the married woman must please her husband. He is not speaking about servility here, but he is speaking about true love. True love is loving not for one's own sake, but by giving up oneself to the other.

In the beautiful letter of Pope Francis, Amoris Laetitia, there are some really beautiful gems which have been lost because of the controversy it caused. I will not go into that but I would like to draw your attention to chapter 4 which is undoubtedly the most beautiful chapter of all the apostolic exhortation. He offers a whole reflection on love in the family, based on Paul's hymn to love (I Cor 12), "Love is patient, love is kind..." At a certain point he says, something very pastoral and practical: he says that we must learn how to help the other person love us, make it easier for the other person to forgive us when we offend him or her. This is what Paul means by seeking how to please the other person in our relationships together.

Finally, as I have said, Paul does not only address married couples, but everyone, including the unmarried or the widowed. His point is this: our unmarried life must not close us in on ourselves, rather, it must be an opportunity to focus all our energies and resources on loving God. We know that it is easier to say, "I am not married, therefore love everyone, and we end up not loving anyone instead!"

I would like to conclude with the scene in the synagogue from today's Gospel. The unclean spirit was there all along but it spoke out and felt uneasy only when Jesus taught, because, the gospel tells us, "He taught them with authority, not as the scribes." Jesus's authority came from who he was, from being the Son of God, in constant communion with the Father. His words reflected who he was. Let us ask the Lord to open our minds and our hearts to receive His authoritative Word so that our our relationships can be purified. May we be relieved through God's word, of all that oppresses us, all that causes us needless stress and anxiety and may our hope be anchored only on and in God alone.