Struggling to do God's will is a victory in and of itself

Friday in the Twenty-Ninth Week in Ordinary Time, Cycle I

Rm 7,18-25; Lk 12, 54-59

It is hard not to have a soft spot for St Paul the Apostle. It is true that initially he comes across as a zealous and violent Jew wielding his sword mercilessly against Christians. It is true that he then proudly presents himself almost as a superhero, boastfully listing all the sufferings that he endured fro Christ. However, we appreciate Paul most when we hear him speak with the humility with which we hear him speak today. It is in moments of these that we feel closest to him and that we feel that he can encourage us most.

He speaks from his own experience: "The willing is ready as hand but the doing good is not." I guess that we all share this experience.

First, we must make sure that there is a willing spirit within us. Sometimes the will to do good and to avoid evil gets diluted, either because we are embittered because of one thing or other, or because we are discouraged or alienated. Sometimes we see so much evil around us that we say why even bother to try and do good and avoid evil? But we must not give in to these temptations. We have to try and keep our will strong, in other words our intention, our wanting.

Sometimes even that is lacking. St Ignatius of Loyola used to say that if you do not have the will to do something, pray to God for the desire of that will.

As St Paul himself says, the doing might follow but sometimes it might not. But this is no reason for discouragement. Rather, it is a reason to surrender oneself even more fully into God's hands, while saying, "Lord, I wanted to do my best but I did not manage. I entrust myself into your mercy."

Just a few days ago I was at a workshop about pastoral ministry. Somebody asked, "Pastoral ministry takes so much energy that sometimes it is hard to find the time and energy to pray. What can be done in situations like these?" If I were to answer her today I would tell her, first there must be the will. The very struggle of trying to pray, even if one does not manage to pray as one wishes to, is enough for God. That is more precious than any other prayer.

In today's Gospel Jesus touches on a sore point about this matter as well. He says that in our daily life, in things unrelated to our spiritual life we have made so many advancements, both as a human race, as well as individually. But do we dedicate the same amount of energy and resources in our relationship with God? We are very conscious of our physical health, with regular check-ups at the doctor, specialised diets, frequent blood tests. Do we give the same attention to the state of our souls?

Heavenly Father, we ask you to give us the desire to do always your will, and to do it promptly and happily. Give us an understanding of what is required of us here and now so that we may continue to grow in our relationship with you and continue prepare for the coming of your Kingdom among us.